ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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