I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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