Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
