we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
