I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sober January is a disaster.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
