nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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