is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
