is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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