Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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