real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
