he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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