I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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