He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
