Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
be right there i have to get my cape
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
