if you like me you must not know who I am
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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