Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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