She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
