Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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(651): View more from Minnesota

By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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(949): View more from California

I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

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(817): View more from Texas

Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.

(972): View more from Texas

Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?

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(727): View more from Florida

I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.

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