I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
