Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
