yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
