4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
