Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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