My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
