took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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