So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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