K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
