the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
