Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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