Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
