there's paper in my vomit.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
