apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The power of my boobs compel you
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
