I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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