Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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