I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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