my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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