Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Where is the hickey?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
