holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
