i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
