There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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