I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
