I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
