I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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