all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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