you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
