Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
