bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
