saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
