Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
