Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
