You just made me feel so damn special
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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