woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
