what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
